Depression is a funny thing. It brings about a complete loss of interest in hobbies and activities you normally enjoy, while causing you to wonder if it was the depression that triggered this sudden apathy or the sudden apathy that triggered the depression. It’s all very chicken-and-egg.
I don’t what the answer is. All I know is that for the past two weeks, I’ve been in the unsettling grip of a quite random but fortunately minor depressive episode that has left me feeling bottlenecked in terms of writing and blogging. Which, in turn, has made me even more anxious and depressed. And round and round we go…
I’m happy to say the fog seems to have lifted and, along with it, the bottleneck freed. Although the words that flowed through in its wake surprised even me and may not be everyone’s cup of tea. Turns out self-censorship can be just as creatively stifling as depression and… well, I just needed to get something off my chest.
But before I potentially render myself the blogging equivalent of the roadkill I reference below, let’s enjoy some tapas, shall we?
What I Say
• Earlier this week, I lamented over finishing Echo in the Bone, thus [finally] getting all caught up on Diana Gabaldon’s Outlander series with more than six months to go until the next book comes out. NOW what the hell am I supposed to do? I asked. Answer: Read James Michener’s Chesapeake. Because as a native Virginian, it’s on my book bucket list. And because when it comes to reading, I say go big or go home. (Maybe after that I’ll tackle Gone With the Wind.)
• Every time I hear “Escape” (The Pina Colada Song) by Rupert Holmes, I just can’t help but think it’s the peppiest little effed-up ditty I’ve ever heard. Basically, it goes like this: Dude gets tired of his lady, so he places an ad in the personals. Woman answers ad and they plan to meet up at a bar to embark on an illicit affair. Woman walks in and dude realizes she’s “his own lovely lady.” Dude and lady share a laugh over how they were both trying to get some strange… and then live dysfunctionally ever after, the end. But it’s such a fun song to sing!
What She Says
• “Awww, a ducky!” said Lil’ Bit, spotting a giant black buzzard picking at a dead animal carcass on the side of the road. Ah, the innocence of youth.
• ”Boys have peanuts,” she informed Jim one morning as he helped her go potty. “You’re a boy and you have a peanut.” In Jim’s defense, he has slightly more than a… oh, never mind.
• “Caterpillars turn into butterflies!” she suddenly exclaimed while watching the always-educational The Cat in the Hat Knows a Lot About That. “Yes, they do!” I replied. “And what’s that thing called that a caterpillar comes out of when it turns into butterfly?” She paused a beat before blurting out, “A sleeping bag!” Well, okay… I was going for chrysalis, but I had to award points for creativity and a hug for being so darn cute.
What They Said
• The full recap of LTYM-DC is up, and it includes pictures. Lots and lots of pictures.
• This week, Kim Bongiorno of Let Me Start By Saying brought hilarious new meaning to an infamous line from The Princess Bride over at In the Powder Room in Why You Should Talk to Your Kids About Sex. You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
• Taking a break from the “thug life,” Roo Ciambriello of the erstwhile Nice Girl Notes-turned-Neon Fresh showed off her softer side this week with a lovely, poignant, and oh-so-true introspective on marriage called The Barn Wedding. It will make you cry. Thug life, my ass.
• And coming full circle back to depression, Allie Brosh of Hyperbole and a Half recently returned to the Internets after an 18-month hiatus with Depression Part Two, a wrenching, relatable, honest and, yes, funny account of her emotional struggles, including the single most accurate description of this debilitating disease I’ve ever read: It’s not really negativity or sadness anymore, it’s more just this detached, meaningless fog where you can’t feel anything about anything — even the things you love, even fun things — and you’re horribly bored and lonely, but since you’ve lost your ability to connect with any of the things that would normally make you feel less bored and lonely, you’re stuck in the boring, lonely, meaningless void without anything to distract you from how boring, lonely, and meaningless it is. Welcome back, Allie.
That’s all I got, folks. But as shamelessly teased above, I’ll be back Sunday evening with a new, admittedly opinionated post. (May the “duckies” have mercy; can you tell I’m nervous about this one?)
In the meantime…
If you like pina coladas, gettin’ caught in the rain…
What’s on your mind?