Nursery rhymes. Like ice cream and constipation, they’re pretty much a staple of childhood.
Most of us are familiar with the more popular ones, and can probably sing or recite several by heart. But have you ever taken a moment to consider their meaning?
“Mother Goose was on crack,” I announced to my mom, looking up from Favorite Nursery Rhymes from Mother Goose, which I’d been reading to Lil’ Bit.
Elaborately illustrated by Scott Gustafson, it was a beautiful book, with the cover image depicting a sweet-faced, rosy-cheeked grandmotherly type flying through the air on a grand white goose with two happy children in tow.
But the image belied some of the dark prose on the pages inside. Why had I never noticed how deranged Mother Goose was?
“Yeah, well, look at Dr. Seuss,” Mom replied. Ever the teacher, she then added, “The rhythm of the words will help develop her memory and vocabulary, regardless of their meaning.” And research suggests she’s right.
Dubious, I stared down at the little lump of baby resting in my lap. At less than a week old, she seemed thoroughly indifferent to my attempts to read to her. But how much of the bizarre content was actually seeping into that little brain? Had I already begun the process of scarring her for life?
To be fair, I really shouldn’t single out Mother Goose, crazy old crone that she was. After all, nursery rhymes as a whole are not exactly the by-product of an entirely lucid thought process, regardless of who penned them.
Consider, for instance, a recent conversation I had with Jim as he sat with Lil’ Bit, who was engrossed in a HooplaKidz video of This Old Man on YouTube:
“This old man is kind of creepy,” I noticed, looking over their shoulders at the rudimentary animation.
“The whole song is kind of creepy,” Jim replied.
“It is?”
“Well, yeah,” said Jim, sounding surprised as he twisted to look at me. “He’s an old man who plays knick-knack on a little girl’s thumb. And knee. And spine!”
So, this old man was a pedophile. Who then went rolling home after he’d finished playing knick-knack all over some poor, innocent little girl. Was he also a drunk? He was, I decided. This old man was a dirty, drunk perv.
And then there’s Ring Around the Rosy – that happy little ditty often sung by cute little girls as they hold hands and skip in a circle? Yeah, it’s all about the bubonic plague.
“Okay, let’s sing the song about death!” Hubs cheerfully announced to Lil’ Bit after I read him its origins.
And let’s not forget the poor old man with the concussion. You know…
It’s raining, it’s pouring,
The old man is snoring,
Got out of bed and bumped his head,
And couldn’t get up in the morning!
Someone should’ve probably gotten the poor guy to a doctor, but instead they penned a rather mocking nursery rhyme about him. Nice.
But when it comes to overall WTF-ness, Mother Goose reigns supreme. Witness…
Jack be nimble,
Jack be quick,
Jack jump over
The candlestick.
Kids, don’t try this at home.
Peter, Peter pumpkin eater,
Had a wife and couldn’t keep her;
He put her in a pumpkin shell
And there he kept her very well.
Some might consider this spousal abuse.
Yankee Doodle came to town,
Riding on a pony.
He stuck a feather in his cap
And called it macaroni.
What? Why? Why on earth would he call a feather ‘macaroni?’ Was he high?
There was an old woman
Who lived in a shoe,
She had so many children
She didn’t know what to do.
Um, I know something she could do: Use a condom. That’s right – tell Mr. Shoe to slap on a patch the next time he wants to take ol’ one-eye to the optometrist.
She gave them some broth
Without any bread.
She whipped them all soundly
And sent them to bed.
Look, we’ve all been there. Parenthood is tough. But this? Just ain’t right.
Rub-a-dub-dub, three men in a tub.
And who do you think they be?
Well, they’re three men hanging out in a tub together, so I think they be gay.
The butcher, the baker,
The candlestick maker,
Turn ‘em out, knaves all three!
No, not knaves! Gays! And we should not turn them out. We should embrace them with tolerance and understanding. Love is love, you homophobic bitch!
And finally, there’s that most well-known of lullabies:
Rock-a-bye baby, on the treetop,
When the wind blows, the cradle will rock,
When the bough breaks, the cradle will fall,
And down will come baby, cradle and all.
Yikes. How is this is supposed to soothe children to sleep? And why did someone stick a cradle full of baby at the top of a tree in the first place?
_________________________________________________________________________________________
Removing my tongue from my cheek for a moment, I admit I’m really not offended by Mother Goose. And I understand that she’s an imaginary author of murky origins and not some sort of Elizabethan-age Mommie Dearest.
Besides, not all of her tales are completely deranged. Many are only slightly unhinged. Some are even sweet.
What’s more, Lil’ Bit loves them. Humpty Dumpty is her favorite. She seems to like the look of surprised fear on his face as he takes his great fall. Because that’s not at all warped.
But when she smiles up at me as I sing Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star, or pantomimes the motions to the Itsy Bitsy Spider, I melt a little. And take heart that maybe nursery rhymes aren’t scarring her for life after all.
Have you ever stopped to consider the meaning of your favorite nursery rhymes?
Hello! I'm Kristin, a self-proclaimed city girl now living the rural life with my husband, daughter, and a black cat named Boo in eastern West Virginia – or as I like to spin it, the far western suburbs of D.C.
Welcome to What She Said, an irreverent blend of family, life, and humor. Because if I didn’t laugh, I’d cry.
I never thought about many of these that way but I have always wondered about rock a bye baby.
I am a fan of Ann Sexton’s poetry. Her versions of fairy tales, in the book, “Transformations,” put a skewed spin on the familiar stories.
http://www.annarbor.com/entertainment/books/grimms-fairy-tales-are-transformed/
Deception is the underlining theme.
There is a passage I Like in “Peter Pan” on the role of mothers:
“It is the nightly custom of every good mother after her children
are asleep to rummage in their minds and put things straight for next
morning, repacking into their proper places the many articles that have
wandered during the day. If you could keep awake (but of course you
can’t) you would see your own mother doing this, and you would find it
very interesting to watch her. It is quite like tidying up drawers. You
would see her on her knees, I expect, lingering humorously over some of
your contents, wondering where on earth you had picked this thing up,
making discoveries sweet and not so sweet, pressing this to her cheek as
if it were as nice as a kitten, and hurriedly stowing that out of sight.
When you wake in the morning, the naughtiness and evil passions with
which you went to bed have been folded up small and placed at the bottom
of your mind and on the top, beautifully aired, are spread out your
prettier thoughts, ready for you to put on.”
I wrote a post about the horrific nature of supposedly baby-friendly material after I listened to “Ate a peanut” for the first time as an adult. The guy freakin’ dies!
And don’t get me started on the wolf eating little red riding hood’s grandmother. Huh? How is that ok?
Oh, Grimm’s Fairy Tales are in a class of their own, Ilana. That’s a whole other post entirely!
I’ll have to check out your post on baby-friendly material. I’m sure it’s hilarious.
Yeah, they didn’t call them the Brothers Grimm for nothing…ummm Bluebeard? YIKES. That still gives me nightmares.
and how about the London Brige song? All about the plague…gross. No wonder wee tots have nightmares!
..and let’s not even get started on Disney and his apparent hatred of all moms everywhere.
Not to mention his penchant for inserting (no pun intended) phallic symbols into his animation.
Visiting from SITS. Funny post. I never actually thought about the actual words of her nursery rhymes before.
So funny! They really are quite morbid. And yet we continue to pass them down generation to generation. In fact, my kindergartner has to memorize one for school!
There was an old Lady who swallowed a fly. I don’t know why she swallowed a fly. Perhaps she’ll die. So far all three of my kids loved this one. My daughter requests it every night right now lol.
My kids and I love nursery rhymes and read them all the time. We especially love Mary Englebreit’s illustrated version.
But yes, the words are strange and most date way back. Many are poems or jingles made for social commentary and were picked up and repeated by children. Similar to when our children overhear us tell a political joke and start telling it even though they don’t understand the meaning.
The pumpkin shell was actually a chastity belt that Jack used to restrain a cheating wife.
And the three men in a tub were three men kicked out of a bar for fighting.
The history of nursery rhymes is actually fascinating! Enjoy.
That’s really interesting, Cindi! Thanks for sharing. I knew when writing this post that most nursery rhymes have some sort of origin that make them less weird, but I didn’t have the time to research each one, and that would’ve made an already super-long blog post even longer. So, I opted for the sarcastic, tongue-in-cheek, let’s-poke-fun-at-them-instead! route.
Still, it would makes for an interesting English thesis, no?
I have often wondered about some of those myself…glad you got it out in the open so we can have a reasonable dialogue.
I love this! So funny how we never really pay attention to the words!!
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