Guest Post: Date Night

Depending on what time of day you read this, there’s a very good chance I’m still asleep. Or strolling the shops of St. Michaels one last time before heading home. Or very possibly drinking a Painkiller on the patio of Pusser’s in Annapolis while watching sailboats parade in and out of the harbor. (What? Don’t judge me – I’m on vacation. And it’s 5:00 somewhere.)

Whatever I’m doing, though, I’m doing it off the grid, as I was not permitted to did not bring my laptop along on this weekend’s romantic getaway (and I still don’t own a smartphone – again, don’t judge). 

Assuming I haven’t succumbed to the cold sweats or crack baby shakes, I’ll be back later this week. In the meantime, one of my favorite funny ladies, Ilana from Mommy Shorts, is holding down the fort with a story about how unplugging every now and then can help reignite that romantic spark.  

I remember being in a Mommy & Me class while on maternity leave when the leader asked who had gone out alone with their husband since the baby arrived. It was a show of hands kind of thing and, embarrassingly, I was the only one who didn’t raise mine.

REALLY, PEOPLE? Who has time with all the breastfeeding and the not showering??

In the beginning, I didn’t have much desire to go out. Or more accurately, I didn’t feel right when I wasn’t tethered to my boob-sucking newborn.

Even taking an hour to go to the gym felt massively self-indulgent— the first time a run on the treadmill ever felt like a guilty pleasure. And going out for an entire evening meant stuffing my manual pump in a bag, practically falling asleep at the table, and God forbid I should have more than one drink— then I’d have to do the dreaded pump and dump when I got home.

Opting to stay in not only seemed more convenient, but Mike and I enjoyed it. We still do. After years of keeping up with people and plans and events, it’s nice that vegging on the couch, eating ice cream, and playing on our laptops is now an acceptable evening activity.

Recently though, Mike and I decided we need to dedicate more time to reminding each other how we got this happily comfortable in the first place. In other words— I should really step up my pajama selection or we need to dress up and go out. I guess people call this a “date night.” I think that sounds like something only your parents do and also five steps away from scheduling sex in a day planner. But since we ARE INDEED parents, I should just get over this and go with it.

A few weekends ago, we were staying at my mom’s summer house and decided this gave us the perfect excuse for said “date night”. (What reason do you have to spend the weekend with your mother if not for the built-in sitter?)

We put Mazzy to bed at 7:30pm and then left for the night. Free and baby-less. Heels on and carrying my very tiny diaperless clutch. All was going well until I stepped into the restaurant and realized something tragic.

(dramatic pause)

I HAD FORGOTTEN MY PHONE.

My access to email, Twitter, Facebook and all things Mommy Shorts.

(Try not to gasp loud enough to wake any sleeping children.)

Apparently, I was prepared to be away from the “baby” but not the “blog about the baby”. Should I go back home and get it? Could I survive three hours without it? Truthfully, if faced with the choice of losing my phone forever or attaching it permanently to my hand, I would get out the knitting needles and the anti-disinfectant. I prepared for some sort of withdrawal.

Mike smiled.

For the first time, in a long time, I was 100% his.

We ended up having one of our most connected, thoroughly enjoyable evenings together since we took a baby-less vacation last January. Being away from any and all distractions (whether it be crying babies or Facebook alerts) felt freeing and thoroughly necessary.

I even considered leaving my phone at home for future “date nights.”

That is, until Mike got up to use the bathroom.

But…

He took one look at my pathetic face and did what any good husband would— he handed me his phone.

THANK GOD.

I love Mike.

I also love Angry Birds, which is what I played while I awaited his return.