Two of my daughter’s favorite books at the moment are Caillou: Bath Time and Caillou: Where Is It? So, when my husband happened upon the Caillou: My Bedtime Story box set on sale at Target recently, he snatched it up.
(Actually, it was WalMart. But I don’t like to admit that anyone from my family shops at WalMart, so let’s just go with Target, mmm-kay?)
The box set included six popular books from the series, which gave us a grand total of eight Caillou books. And suddenly it was all Caillou all the time.
Copyright: PBS Kids
Having observed that Jim’s heroism had not gone unnoticed by our child, I decided to up the ante by setting our DVR to record an episode of Caillou on PBS. Effectively bringing to life the feisty little boy my daughter had come to call her “friend.”
Who’s the hero now?
But my laudable – if not altogether selfless – act came back to bite me in the ass. For upon watching a walking, talking Caillou for the first time ever, I made two startling discoveries:
First, Caillou is pronounced CAI-yoo, not Cuh-LOO. And secondly, Caillou is a whiny bitch.
Yes, each Caillou story contains an age-appropriate lesson pertaining to various social and emotional issues that preschoolers face. And as a conscientious mom, I’m all about toys and television that teach. But must the producers of the animated series impart these messages at the expense of its protagonist, who suddenly comes off as a giant steaming turd?
I must say… this does not convey in the books.
Apparently my contempt is shared by others. In fact, I quickly learned that the cheeky little runt is a hot-button topic on Twitter. In one recent discussion, several suggestions were made in an effort to explain why Caillou is… well, the way he is. Potential diagnoses included oppositional defiant disorder, fetal alcohol syndrome, and being Canadian.
In the end, though, I didn’t really care what was afflicting the child – I just wanted him out of our lives (or at the very least off our television screen). Because whenever Lil’ Bit watched Caillou, she suddenly took on his more obnoxious characteristics. Which is to say she began acting like a shrill, defiant brat.
The first time it happened, I chalked it up to coincidence. The second time, I began to suspect a most unfavorable correlation. And by the third (and final) time, I decided that swift and immediate Caillou sanctions must be made.
So, we deleted the little shit from our DVR queue. And then told Lil’ Bit he died.
Kidding!
We told her Caillou had not done his best job and was sitting in timeout.
Permanently.
That said, Caillou does live on in our house, if only in literary form. After all, a mute Caillou is a tolerable Caillou.
And on the animated front, Lil’ Bit quickly forgot all about her banished buddy in favor of a new and equally fervent obsession with Thomas the Tank Engine – who, while not exactly the sharpest tack in the box, does manage to impart good messages without acting like an insufferable asshat in the process.
Although whenever he pumps his pistons or feels a tingle in his axles, I have to wonder what’s going on there. And is it really appropriate television viewing for kids?
Which children’s show drives you bonkers?
Hello! I'm Kristin, a self-proclaimed city girl now living the rural life with my husband, daughter, and a black cat named Boo in eastern West Virginia – or as I like to spin it, the far western suburbs of D.C.
Welcome to What She Said, an irreverent blend of family, life, and humor. Because if I didn’t laugh, I’d cry.
Twitter: idothefancyart
Caillou will never have a girlfriend. His parental figures should take action now instead of redirecting him with “clown-shaped-toast”.
I hate him….
There is nothing about this comment that isn’t pure awesome.
Twitter: NerakG1974
Ha! I thought I was the only one who couldn’t stand obnoxious little Calliou and his extreme whining. My girls, now 9 and 11, were banned from watching his show for the same reasons when they were preschoolers! Oh, I can hear that voice in my head now, and even in memory form it is driving me insane. The other show my kids weren’t allowed to watch was the Teletubbies. I couldn’t understand why they never talked in full sentences. I will fully admit to encouraging Barney, though! I loved the music and dancing around with my girls before lunch and nap time.
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I actually don’t mind Barney so much, either. Although if I had to watch him as often as I have to watch Thomas, I’d probably want to gouge my eyes and ears out with a fork.
I actually don’t mind Thomas and personally think there’s a lot of intentional adult humor in it. In fact, sometimes I catch myself watching the episodes long after my daughter has lost interest.
Twitter: fiercedivablog
I wanted to hug my laptop as I read this because you are so freaking DEAD ON with how I feel about Caillou. In my house, he is only second in line to Dora for going to the incinerator. I have a draft of a post about how I feel about Dora and her posse, and all of the merchandise with her mug on it that we have accumulated over the years. Known to my husband and me as Dora the whora.
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Awww… go ahead and hug your laptop. I won’t judge.
Great post. You are right on about that annoying bald little pain in the. . . neck. He is a worse influence on my son than my dorm mates were on me during college.
We had to banish Caillou nearly a year ago. The whining was definitely contagious, and I realized that if Caillou was one of my child’s friends, I would probably ignore his phone calls to set up play dates. We decided to just pretend Caillou didn’t exist and had never existed. We acted confused whenever Nick asked about him. It worked for us.
Of course, now Nick likes to watch Blue’s Clues, but only with Steve. He throws a hissy fit if episodes with Joe come on. “Mommy, not Blue’s Clues with JOE. I want Blue’s Clues with STEVE!” I believe my response is something along the lines of “It’s the same **** blue dog, regardless!” Me? I can’t tell the difference. One strangely dressed young man in a god-awful sweater looks much the same as another.
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LOL at “We acted confused whenever Nick asked about him.”
I’m not familiar with Blue’s Clues, but Lil’ Bit is VERY SPECIFIC about which Thomas episodes she wants to watch. So, I feel your pain. Luckily, we have them recorded so we can bow to her whims.
Parenthood is so humbling.
Twitter: pinkfshbluefsh
YES! We don’t watch Caillou (note to self – don’t) but I loved your comment about Thomas. My kids (2 and 3) are in looooooove with Thomas and are also very specific about what episodes they like and don’t like. I’m always a little curious about Percy myself…
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Twitter: Kiddiepoolmommy
We never jumped on the Caillou band wagon. Baby S prefers Backyardigans. Not educational but catchy tunes and great choreography. Plus, I like watching Baby S shake his little tush to the songs.
Jennifer – Treading Water in the Kiddie Pool’s last awesome post…Home
Do you know how lucky you are? DO YOU? I think our experience with Caillou – limited as it was – has scarred me for life.”
Twitter: KristenPGIP
Who in the hell thought it was okay to put this awful brat on friggin public television?! It is a channel that EVERYONE with a television has access to. The world does not need to see this. We do not need to encourage this behavior. We need to take Calliou’s hat and play monkey in the middle with it. We need to wet willy his ears. We need to stick notes that say “kick me” on his back. Those are the things that he deserves for not doing his best!
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“It is a channel that EVERYONE with a television has access to. The world does not need to see this.”
This cracked me up. I never really thought of it that way, but YES!
Have you read the book Nurture Shock? I’m not normally one for recommending stuff like that, but one of the chapters was exactly about this concept. They’ve done research that educational television actually leads to worse behavior through modelling. Forget that half minute of “lesson” at the end – it’s all the whining in the first 29.5 minutes they remember.
Mine is still only one and a half, and mostly ignores television, but it’s stories like yours that remind me why it’s okay that I don’t plunk her down in front of Dora the Explorer and Baby Einstein.
Jane’s last awesome post…Why call it abuse?: The price of adjustment.
I haven’t read the book, but what a fascinating study. And it makes total sense. Will have to check it out.
Twitter: AlisonSWLee
Thank you for the tip – note to self: NO CALILOU.
Trains are more awesome anyway. Also, attractive.
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Oh, if you haven’t entered the realm of Caillou yet, stay away. FAR away. Don’t go toward the light, Alison!
“Potential diagnoses included oppositional defiant disorder, fetal alcohol syndrome, and being Canadian” Spit out my drink at that one! Loved this post. I think most animated kids shows are half orchestrated to annoy parents. Then we’ll leave the room and they can try and sell your kids things. I don’t know. All I know is the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse theme song haunts my dreams…
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I sort of like Thomas for the little nuances of adult humor throughout it. Otherwise, I’d have to agree.
I believe I was the one who outed Calliou as Canadian on twitter. He is awful. I hate him most for his lame animation. It truly bothers me that my daughter finds him entertaining— I take this as a giant flaw in her taste level that will manifest itself later in life.
In other news, those book sets are THE WORST. My cousin gave me a box set of Clifford books, which are basically ALL THE SAME. And we’ve got a box of Mazzy’s favorite— Curious George. What is that monkey teaching exactly? Get yourself into trouble and you will be rewarded???
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Don’t even get me started on Curious George. The original book would be my choice to rip on Literary Carousel (and I might even do my own post about it anyway). The man with the yellow hat is the worst pet parent EVER. He STEALS a monkey from the jungle, for Christs’s sake! This is why we have an entire generation of dumbasses who think it’s OK to bring home tigers and pythons and other exotic pets to live in their homes.
I could keep going about how Curious George nearly drowns, smokes a pipe, winds up in jail, and how the book makes living in a cage at the zoo out to be something great… but I’ll save it for the post.
Oh, Caillou. He was super cool with my kids up until a few months ago…praise be to the universe. I can still hear his laugh. And WHY doesn’t he have hair? After all “he’s just a kid who’s four, each day he grows some more” See, I still know the song. But FOUR and no hair? What’s up with that?
Caillou is now a grown whiny man who lives in his parents basement, keeps body parts in his fridge, and tries to pick-up young children by offering candy from his 1973 green Pinto. I’m sure of it.
That’s pretty much how I feel about him.
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YES!
Twitter: FloodG
Even though I’m a Canadian (forgive me) mom with four children, I managed to avoid Caillou. I wasn’t so lucky with Teletubbies, who do nothing to help a kid learn to speak properly and only served to make me kick my tv.
Thanks for linking up to YW#62!
TeleTubbies make me itch. Luckily, she hasn’t even been exposed to them (and God willing, never will be).
And for the record, I wasn’t the one who blamed Caillou’s issues on being Canadian. I said oppositional defiant. No Canadian hate here.
Twitter: supermomboots
First, I do feel compelled to say that Caillou is not the way he is because of being Canadian. And that most Canadian parents (myself included) despise the whiny little brat and avoid claiming him as any sort of national treasure!!
Secondly, this is an awesome post and now I am wishing that I had a PVR just so I could record him and then have the pleasure of deleting him. I bet that would feel fabulous!
Third, I love that you recorded the show in a one up contest with your husband. They so often are the heroes aren’t they? Drives me crazy!
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I knew you’d weigh in on the Canadian comment. That was all Ilana from Mommy Shorts – I said he was oppositional defiant.
And yeah, it was a total one-up. I’m shameless. But karma came back to bite me.
Have you not seen my Twitter warnings about Caillou? Dear god, I hate that kid — like, I never, ever preach violence, but if there were a very special episode where Caillou ran across a serial killer, and the serial killer found that hurting people was not good, but did so after carving Caillou into little bits? I’d watch that one. Happily.
I, um, get a little bit worked up about this whiny brat.
I hear, in the original French, it’s not nearly as bad, but I don’t see how that’s possible (which reminds me of watching The Terminator, in English, with a bunch of Québécois, who had only ever seen it in French up to this point — and, when the Terminator spoke in French, there was an air of intelligence. When the Terminator spoke as Arnold, he seemed like a “stupid badass”).
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This entire comment cracked me up. That is all.
There may possible be some sort of natural disaster coming my way. This is the 3 mention of Caillou I have stumbled into in as many days.
1. My nephew age 2 has found Caillou. boo.
2. Caillou was mentioned as one of the few characters more annoying than the internet sensation Annoying Orange.
3. Your post.
ahhhhh the end is near! LOL
***Don’t you wonder how Caillou’s mom copes?
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Personally, I think Caillou’s mom has issues too. There’s something not quite right about that woman.
Twitter: Steph_Sikorski
Here’s the good news:
About the time you think you can’t handle it anymore the kids grow up
and
if you do go batty you won’t notice anyway because you’ll be so happy the kids grew older and don’t watch those annoying shows anymore.
The next season of their lives though entails you monitoring their shoes of choice. Good luck w that.
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Annoying kids’ shows or the teenage years… when does parenthood get easier?
Oh, bless your late heart. I endured Caillou with my oldest and immediately our house was filled with AW HELL NO. I have to admit that outside of a select few, I don’t have a particular fondness for any of the newer shows but I will tolerate them: Clifford is probably the absolute only kids show I will watch and enjoy and that’s because he was my favorite as a child (and they’d have to really screw it up for me to dislike it, like make Clifford orange or something ridiculous). Oh, wait I used to like Arthur. And I do like Sid the Science Kid (sometimes) and I love love love WORDGIRRRRRRRRRRRRL! I tolerate Barney (barf). I tolerate Dora (spew). I refuse to watch Super Why and I want to go to a Fresh Beat Band concert so that I can run up on the stage and kick their asses one by one. Also, DJ Lance rocks.
I’m not familiar with most of these (with the exception of WordGirl, Barney, and Clifford.) I think that’s a good thing.
Clifford is sweet – at least in the books. I haven’t seen his show yet.
Twitter: KeAnne
I’ve heard enough parents hating Caillou to make sure D never sees it LOL. We’ve watched some of the Thomas movies so many times that we’ve started making up our own adult interpretations of the dialogue: “I was pulling Thomas’ special and then my valve popped.” Um, double entendre, no?
Anything on PBS except for SuperWhy drives me up the wall.
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Pretty sure Thomas’ valve pops after he’s been pumping his pistons for a while. Then he feels a tingle in his axles. At least that’s the way it usually works.
Twitter: tragicsandwich
We only see Caillou at the tail end of Sesame Street episodes that we record from Sprout TV. But every time I switch the channel to Sprout, Caillou seems to be on. Caillou is relentless. There’s no escaping Caillou. And having first encountered him–even if only for a moment or two–on TV, I cannot bear the idea that there are books as well.
And it’s not just Caillou’s voice. That narrator is awful, too.
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I agree – the Caillou never ends. But while the books do get on my nerves, they’re nowhere near as bad as the show.
And I thought I was alone. I couldn’t even put my finder on why I despised Caillou exactly, except I was aware of the whining. And for a while my daughter loved it, when she was between 2 – 4. Now that she’s 5 she seems to have forgotten about him. Hopefully she will never rediscover. She did rediscover Blues Clues recently and was addicted to that show for a while. But like the other commenter, she didn’t like Joe, she would only watch the ones with Steve.
Now she discovered the show called Lalaloopsy. This is a new show for me. I never knew it existed until this week. Those characters look strange. And their signing is obnoxious. The creators must have been on acid.
My son is 2, and he likes Thomas the Train. I don’t mind Thomas the Train. I hope he never discovers Caillou.
I like Special Agent Oso. I love the James Bond references. Unfortunately I think it is only available on the Disney channel, which we lost when we got rid of cable. Now we are limited to what’s on Netflix, which unfortunately includes Caillou and Lalaloopsy.
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Oh, God no, you’re not alone! There’s a legion of Caillou haters out there!
I actually don’t mind Thomas. In fact, I sometimes find myself watching it long after my daughter has lost interest. I like the adult humor in it – even if it’s unintentional.
I hated Caillou so much when my kids were small that a friend and I referred to him as “that damn Caillou.” He was worse than Clifford, worse than those sickeningly sweet dragons on that show I’ve blocked from my mind. Dragon Tales, maybe? Anyway, when they get older, the obnoxious shows on Disney and Nickolodeon are bad, too, and encourage awful smart-mouth behavior. Umm…didn’t mean to rant all over your fun blog piece…I just totally, totally, totally get where you’re coming from.
Ranting is welcome on this post – rant away!
I hate those stupid tween shows. I may have to forbid them when Lil’ Bit gets older.
Twitter: bridgettewriter
I liked your use of asshat in that post, excellent word. I don’t know Caillou – he hasn’t appeared on TV in Australia yet, or we’ve managed to dodge him if he has. And a good thing too, he sounds like a nasty piece of work! We do have other creepy/crappy kids shows and to that end it’s only DVD’s for us too. My son is addicted to some of the Miyazaki (Studio Ghibli) films. They are beautifully drawn, very imaginative, often tackling difficult concepts and usually creating challenging characters. I also can bear watching them 50 times a week, so that’s a bonus too. Some of them have elements that are a bit scary though, so I wouldn’t recommend all of them for all kids. “My Neighbour Totoro” is really a great one though, for all ages
Bridgette’s last awesome post…I wish that I could accurately write an evil laugh.
‘Asshat’ is a great word.
I’ve never heard of Miyazaki – will have to check it out. Thanks for the tip!
Twitter: KimberlyAMuro
I absolutely despise that bald little brat. Somehow my kids figured out who he was (I completely blame my husband for this) and kept asking to watch it On Demand. It made my skin crawl every time I heard the opening song. I have since told them that Caillou is broken or sleeping and he can’t come to the TV. It’s worked and the brat is out of our lives. For now.
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I love “he can’t come to the TV.”
I am not alone. I am NOT alone! I AM NOT ALONE! This is the happiest day of my life.
I just banned Johnny Test when my 8 yo kept responding to everything I said with “Say what?!” and other choice responses.
Oh my, I don’t who this Johnny Test character is, but I hate him already.
Calliou makes Barney look like a dream boat. Seriously, my dad let her watch that purple nightmare once when I was sick, and I stood there thinking, “Well, he’s better than Calliou. I mean, the song isn’t *that* bad, right?” Maybe I was delirious from the sickness!
I call Calliou “that little bald-headed freak.” I banned him months ago. I totally wanna see the serial killer episode!!!!!! Somebody make it!!
I agree that Caillou makes Barney look good – that’s saying something!
And I LOVE “little bald-headed freak.”
When I saw the title of this post, I had to look. “Don’t hate-read” I told myself. “If she’s saying something about how she just loves Caillou, stop reading!” I am so glad I didn’t have to stop! I have only seen him while waiting to be seen by a doctor that we thankfully no longer see. I hated it with such a passion that I told my husband he was banned from ever being played in our home. So Liam never learned about him to ask to watch. Yay for parental control
I despise the animation and I couldn’t remember enough about the show beyond the look of it to explain exactly why I hated it so much. I knew it wasn’t just the lazy drawing/animation but how the kid acted as well, I just couldn’t remember what it was because I was trying so hard to distract myself from it. I rarely have such a visceral response to TV intended for children!
The title of the post didn’t clue you in that it was anti-Caillou?
Glad you enjoyed it. I had a feeling it would strike a nerve with many.
This post is too funny. I’ve heard that about Caillou, but luckily my kids never watched it. I think most of the shows on Nick are pretty bad – I feel like my kids get hyper from brain-dead shows like Fairly Odd Parents. I had to cut it out. They once asked if they could watch Power Rangers and I flat out told them never in a million years. I couldn’t handle watching the Godzilla like create.
In the end, I’m convinced as little TV as possible is best – or maybe the occasional Scooby Doo. Solving mysteries is a good thing, right?
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This is funny. My son loves Caillou and has since he was around 2 years old. I let my son watch but have always been honest with him and told him that Caillou is whiney and he won’t get his way if he whines. I personally blame Caillou’s parents. They cater to his whining. Any parent who does that is asking for trouble. My son knows that tv isn’t real and that we won’t put up with whining so it has never been a problem. He also realizes that he can’t run around devouring plates of cookies like Cookie Monster does. It’s all about teaching your kids the difference between television and reality. It’s been pretty simple for us.