Why Spelling Matters

Out of all the reasons I did not want to leave the beach, coming home to triple-digit heat topped the list.

Lil’ Bit had spent six straight days outdoors jumping into pools, splashing in the ocean, and running through our resort’s splash park. So, the thought of suddenly spending an entire weekend holed up indoors trying entertain a bored and restless toddler quite frankly terrified me to my very core.

(Note to self: Look into a pool membership.)

Upon arriving home Friday evening, Hubs and I decided that a strategic indoor entertainment plan was in order. So, the following morning he and Lil’ Bit went to one of her all-time favorite places – the Shenandoah Valley Discovery Museum – while I ran errands, decompressed from our travels, and generally moped around in a post-vacation funk. And on Sunday, she and I headed back to the same spot while a far more productive Hubs unpacked and went to the grocery store.

Before leaving on our mommy-daughter outing, I hastily scribbled a shopping list in the hopes that we might have time to make a Target run on the way home. But we wound up exiting the museum in a massive thunderstorm, as the oppressive heat wave that had been gripping the Mid-Atlantic finally broke. And feeling like a drowned rat, I decided to skip Target.

(It should also be noted that Lil’ Bit had way more fun running through the rain and jumping in puddles than she did at the museum.)

When we got home, I left the shopping list out for Hubs and made a mental note to add “Target trip” to his own honey-do list (one of the summertime perks of being married to a teacher – he’s like my personal cabana boy). But as I stood in the bathroom later getting ready for bed, I noticed him enter our bedroom, brow furrowed and looking vexed.

“I saw your Target list,” he said abruptly. “What’s a ren?”

What the hell was he talking about?

“A what?”

“You put it on your list,” he insisted. “A ren. And not a little peeper wren, like the bird. It was spelled R-E-N.”

I stared at him blankly, clutching a tube of toothpaste in mid-air. I was truly stumped.

It’s not often in our relationship that I’m struck speechless, and Hubs couldn’t let such a rare opportunity pass without some fun.

“Look,” he said solemnly, “If I’m gonna buy you a ren at Target, I really need to know what it is first.”

I started to laugh. I wasn’t going to be able to sleep without knowing what a ren was. Maybe Hubs had simply read the list wrong? I had to find out.

I ran downstairs to where the list lay on the kitchen island. Scanning it, I began to laugh even harder. In fact, I couldn’t stop laughing. I laughed so hard, there were nearly incontinence issues.

There it was, right smack dab between pull-ups and chocolate: The Mysterious Ren.

In my hasty list-making, I’d clearly omitted a crucial part of the alphabet from the item in question – a spelling fail that had now rendered even me incapable of figuring out what it was.

Still shaking with laughter, I went back upstairs to find Hubs sitting up in bed peering over his Kindle at me with a look of smug amusement.

“So?” he asked, “What’s a ren?”

“I have no idea,” I conceded.

He heaved a dramatic sigh. “Well then… looks like I won’t be able to get you one at Target.”

“Oh, shut up.”

Not two minutes later, as I began my bedtime routine, it came to me. I knew what the ren was!

Of course, I’m not going to tell you. At least not now. What fun would that be?

Instead, tell me in the comments what YOU think “ren” was actually supposed to be. First person to guess correctly wins a $12 Starbucks gift card – $12 being the approximate price of the item in question and Starbucks being one item I never forget to put on my Target list. That’s three grande chai lattes, nonfat, no water, extra hot, five pumps – my treat!

You have two days. I’ll disclose the answer in this week’s Friday Tapas, along with the winner – if there is one. Muahahahaha…

That’s supposed to be evil laughter.

I’ll stop talking now.