Friday Tapas: The One With the Samoas

Ever felt like you needed a weekend to recover from your weekend? That’s been me all week, following a brief but busy (they always are) trip home to Richmond last weekend, presumably to celebrate my upcoming birthday. Except that within minutes of rolling into my parents’ house early Saturday afternoon, my mother informed me that she had no idea what I wanted or needed for my birthday and thus had not actually gotten me a gift. Or a card. Or cake.

Right. So basically, this so-called birthday celebration was really just a ploy for my parents to see their granddaughter without making a three-hour drive.

Well-played, Mom. Well-played.

Let’s hit the buffet…

What I Say

• So, Hotmail is going away. This apparently has been news since last summer but I only learned about it this week, despite having had my own account auto-reconfigured to Microsoft’s new Outlook interface months ago. (I can be a little slow on the uptake.) That’s right – I still use Hotmail. Which is why it came as a surprise to also learn this week that, technologically-speaking, the go-to e-mail provider of the late 1990′s is a relic. Whatever. I liked it. It was comfortable… just like the Birkenstocks I still wear on occasion. Long live the 90′s!

• And speaking of being behind the times, I’m a bit confused by Tumblr. From a blogger’s perspective, it mainly seems like a way to have your cake and eat it too, by posting minimal yet often hilarious content that has a high likelihood of going viral. (See: Suri’s Burn Book, Blogging a Blog, and my personal favorite, Justin Timberlake Does Things.) Kind of makes me pause and wonder why I spend hours toiling away in this space. Why, but for the love of writing…

• Girl Scout cookies are in and, to my surprised delight, Jim ordered me a box of Samoas. That’s right – Samoas. Any boxes labeled ‘Caramel deLites’ are imposter cookies.

• In closing,  I’d just like to contest Words With Friends on the grounds that ‘farty’ is indeed a word. It’s an adjective. As in, “I ate a big bowl of chili and now I am feeling farty.” I’m just saying.

What She Says

• While in Richmond for my “birthday celebration,” Jim and I were able to enjoy a rare date night (with free babysitting!). Just dinner and a movie, but it might as well have been a night at the opera for as little as we get out these days. Meanwhile, also enjoying a date with her Nonnie and Pop was Lil’ Bit, who Mom said had a hard time understanding the concept of  ”going to the movies” when my parents tried to explain to her what Mommy and Daddy were doing. (Like I said, we don’t get out much.) Later that night, I ended up crawling into bed with my daughter when she woke up in the predawn hours disoriented and scared, as she’s prone to do anytime she spends the night in an unfamiliar place. We both went back to sleep, and when she she awoke again a few hours later to find me lying alone beside her, I saw the confusion pass over her face. And then: “Mommy… is Daddy still at the movie?” And then I died of the cute.

• Whenever Lil’ Bit spots birds, she exclaims, “Why, hello my little friends!” Which I know is coming from the shy and docile Toby on Thomas & Friends, who isn’t one for drama and adventure; he just likes to sit in his shed and listen to the birds. It’s sweet, really. So, why then, am I always immediately reminded of Al Pacino in Scarface? Say hello to my little friend! (Answer: Because I am somewhat demented.)

• Let’s do dat again! We may seriously hear this more these days than the word ‘no’. And that’s saying a lot. See also: I wanna do dat again! (And again… and again… and again.)

What They Said

• Jerry Mahoney of Mommy Man: Adventures of a Gay Superdad was featured on Scary Mommy this week with his excellent post How to Talk to Your Children About Gay Parents. There is a gay agenda, Jerry says, but it’s not “everybody should be gay”; rather it’s “everybody should be themselves.” And he gives parents tips on how to impart this message to their children in a piece that is funny, insightful, informative, and extremely well-written.

• I Will Try (Almost) Anything by Angie Kinghorn is the hilariously-told story of trying to rid oneself of bad ju-ju that will make you both laugh and feel better about the quirky things you do when you think no one else is watching. (And you do – we all do.) On another note, I now need to find a way to incorporate the phrase, “You harshed my mellow,” into my life.

• And on the subject of over-sharing intimate details of our lives (in the best possible way), Alex at Late Enough details the most awkward errand ever in what is hands-down the funniest post about poop I’ve ever read. In fact, from her husband’s incredulity over how women often poop and pee at the same time (So you just sit down and WHO KNOWS WHAT MIGHT HAPPEN?) to the various euphemisms for taking a dump, it might be one of the funniest posts I’ve ever read period. Because apparently I’m a 12-year-old boy trapped inside the body of a 37-(almost 38)-year-old mom.

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With my brainpower sufficiently depleted enough that I’m giggling over toilet humor, it’s probably a good time to wrap this puppy up. Personally, I’m very much looking forward to sleeping in this weekend. And lest you think that “sleeping in” with a toddler in the house is an oxymoron, remember…

Lil’ Bit favors Jim on weekend mornings.

Muhahahaha.

What’s on your mind?